No, Olivia Rodrigo, Getting Married in Your 20s Does Not Make You a “Child Bride”
By Emily A.
In a recent interview with British Vogue, 23-year-old pop singer Olivia Rodrigo was asked if she thinks about marriage and kids in the near future. Rodrigo joked, “What am I, a child bride?”, referencing a line from the sitcom “Broad City” in which the character Ilana Wexler, who is 27 in the show, declares she is not ready for marriage because she wants to focus on her career and education first. Still, Olivia Rodrigo goes on to say in the interview that she wants to be a mom “more than anything.”
Rodrigo’s “child bride” joke set against her strong desire for motherhood reveals a troubling assumption my generation has been taught to accept: that your 20s are merely an extension of adolescence.
I got engaged at 21, married at 22, and am now a little over two years into marriage. The idea that 20-somethings are too young, and therefore too immature or incapable, for marriage is simply false. I didn’t feel like a child bride when I said “I do” because I didn’t expect my husband and I to have it all figured out right away.
Mainstream culture would have my generation believe that your 20s are not meant for making lifelong commitments. Marriage is only for real adults, and adulthood is something we can simply opt out of. Instead, your 20s are a time to explore your dating options and galavant around the world while hustling in your early career. Then, maybe one day, you can begin to think about settling down once you have your life together.
Getting married young and building a life with my husband has been the most rewarding part of my 20s so far. I said “yes” to an exciting new chapter of my 20s with a man who will still be there to experience my 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on with me.
No one should get married young just for the sake of marrying young. Who you marry is one of the most important decisions you will make in life. Your spouse should be someone that shares your faith and has demonstrated a consistently good character. However, choosing to delay marriage for the sake of delaying adult responsibility is not wisdom; it’s shortsightedness.
Your 20s are not a trial run. Real life doesn’t wait for us to reach full maturity. You will pay the dividends for the choices you make in your 20s later on in life. Whether single or in a serious relationship, it is critical to spend this decade wisely.
Olivia Rodrigo’s “child bride” joke paints marriage as the end of individuality and freedom. To be sure, marriage requires giving up the type of “freedom” pop culture says you should pursue in your 20s—spending your time and money how you want, engaging in hookup culture, or even moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend without the real commitment of wedding vows.
But the freedom I have found in marriage is so much better than spending my 20s in the kind of toxic, low-commitment relationships Olivia Rodrigo sings about in her songs.
Getting married in my early 20s has given me greater confidence, brought meaningful friendships into my life, and motivated me to grow professionally.
Ironically, those who fear being “tied down” to one person fail to recognize the confidence that comes in being known intimately by someone who has promised to always be there the next morning. When I got engaged, I was excited to spend my life with a man I enjoyed being around. Little did I know how much marriage would deepen our friendship. A healthy marriage builds confidence. My husband and I are free to be completely ourselves with each other because we are confident in the sacred vows we made at the altar.
Marriage has also brought new friends into my life and deepened the friendships I already had before getting married. My husband’s friends have welcomed me, and my friends and family have made the effort to know and care for him, too. Marriage has taught me the importance of quality over quantity when it comes to relationships. I’ve come to value the time it takes to invest in another person, and so as my husband and I build community together, I’m more intentional about where and who I spend my time with.
Contrary to the fears of many young women, being married young has not been an obstacle to my career. In fact, my husband has motivated me to grow professionally as we navigate each of our early careers. Having a loving husband to come home to has provided me stability, duty, and contentment apart from work. And being married while still in our 20s has meant we get to experience milestones like buying a house, getting promotions, and building our finances together.
If we want better for young adults, we have to reframe the way we think about our 20s when talking about marriage. No one has it all together when they say “I do.” Marriage requires sacrifice at any stage of life. While I am still in my early adult years, I am so glad I didn’t let the fear of missing out in my 20s keep me from pursuing marriage.
Emily A. has worked in the conservative movement since college. She now lives in the Washington, D.C. area with her husband.
